The Aftermath

I want to sleep but I don’t have the courage to close my eyes
for fear of what I might see when I
open them tomorrow morning

Out the window she stood under that lamp post
with the yellow umbrella I gave her last October
and that green scarf I liked
Her hair in the wind; her brown eyes staring at the gutter
seeing her reflection from the dirt stained ground


I make myself a pot of tea, and the smell of roses filled the air
Her favorite flower, I suddenly remembered
And I poured myself another cup

I light a candle or two, put on a soft melody
The wind bellowed at the window and I turned up the volume of the TV
A car crash, a terrorist attack, another show about teenage pregnancy

I slam the book on the nightstand
Her photo falls to the ground, and she stares at me
And I ask myself
Didn’t I make it clear?
Then I tell myself
I’m not to blame, not to blame
She is the one that didn’t play right by the rules
I’m not going to fall for her tricks again

The blood stained carpet, the overfilled bathtub
The jumping off bridges
The running into traffic
No, I’m not going to fall for her tricks again
Not even this time
She’ll be back
She loves me too much to really let me be alone

Then the sun started to shine through my curtains
I want to wake up but I don’t have the courage to open my eyes
for fear of what I might dream when I
close them later at night

Out the window she was already gone
On top of the gutter was her yellow umbrella
And the green scarf I liked
hanging from the lamp post
Her eyes stared at me; they were brown with silence
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The Aftermath

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