the way they all end (with a whimper)

The other day I read this online “somebody asked me if I knew you. A million memories flashed by, but i just smiled and said I used to.”

I wanted to send this to you and say hey. But I remembered we are far pass the days when we can look back and reminisce our bygone days.

Hey friend, what have you been up? I’m so bad at keeping in touch. Do you blame me for our faded friendship? I still remember when we used to hide away where our parents could not disturb us. We would plan out our future. Do you remember? You wanted to be an astronaut and I wanted to rule the world.

How childish do we seem then to us now? Where did our dreams go? I suppose they were never going to come to be anyway, right? I mean, rule the world? Be an astronaut? You get car sick in a 20 minute ride to the mall! I don’t think you could have handled it.

Then remember the days we exchanged notes in the hallway? Chatted for hours at midnight about secrets we thought were so precious? How he looked at you in P.E. today, or how he smiled at me yesterday? Or how you tried to scare me with stories about Chucky? I still resent you a little for that one.

Do you remember any of this? Or how later, when we were older, you saw me cry for the first time. You didn’t have to ask me why but just soothed my broken heart. I didn’t tell you all of my secrets those days, and I could only try to guess yours. Was that the beginning of the end?

So when did it really happen?
When did we come to this?

I want to send you a text, and say hey and talk for hours.

Maybe I can tell you about my family? Do you know that I am married now? To the man you met briefly a few years ago. Yes, I did end up marrying him. You were right. Even though we haven’t spoken for a while then you still knew me better than myself. I also have a son now. He is three. A precocious little man. Do you have children? Are you married? I seem to know nothing about you. Would you mind if I asked? Would you be disappointed that even in this age of social media I have not bothered to keep track of your life?

I try to thumb through my contacts for your number. I don’t even have your information anymore.

Don’t blame me. Please. We may have become apart, but I am glad our paths crossed. You will always have a special place in my heart, and always have a seat at my table.

the way they all end (with a whimper)

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